It’s not me.
One of the most difficult things to do in life is to accept personal responsibility.
It seems almost normal in today’s world for people to “push back” at anything they feel does not sit well with them, whether it is truthful or not. People struggle with simply accepting that they should not have said something or could have done something better. Also, they have issues being told that they should consider other options, or even (gasp) at least admit that someone else’s idea may seem like a more desirable choice, or that it may even be better.
In today’s world, it appears that admitting wrong is akin to admitting how weak a person you are. I know. That should not even make sense, but sadly, it does.
I actually remember when it was honorable to admit your shortcomings! I really do. I remember when children were ashamed when caught in lies or even publicly humiliated from time to time. I also remember when every mom in the neighborhood had permission to “be your mom” if you know what I mean! Just to be clear, I don’t believe two wrongs make a right, but somewhere in life we stopped holding people accountable.
I don’t like it when people blame others when they can (and should) accept their part in being accountable. You see, a person that truly cares for you will be honest when they need to be. The truth is not always a pleasure to hear. In the Bible in the book of Galatians the apostle Paul was regularly speaking truth and in doing so, was quickly labeled an enemy of the public. Paul responds to them in this way in Galatians 4:16, ” Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth?”
We all know people that struggle with admitting the truth. In fact, we may be those people at times. We want to save embarrassment and humiliation. We deflect, turn aside, we redirect and at times outright lie about our involvement or part in anything that will help us save face.
Let me leave you with a few healthy thoughts.
- Listen to what people are saying without interruption. It is important to hear the entire context of a person’s thoughts before responding. It’s almost unfair to not do so. Be disciplined in this area as it will lead to less confusion.
- Don’t play Prosecution versus Defense. When we listen to words from others and are preparing a defense instead of finding the positive in what they are sharing, we leave ourselves in impossible situations. Don’t take the 5% of a conversation that you disagree with and use it as a platform to stand on. Don’t double down on your pride when you should graciously receive the truth.
- Don’t take advantage of the “love” others have for you. Deceit often starts when we know that the person or situation before us is in our favor. It is very easy to mislead someone that cares for you. In many cases we must realize that it’s not the other person it is us. The question is, “Can we be honest with ourselves?”
We need to accept responsibility for who we are in Christ. How does that happen? It’s with me, not you. Just in case you thought I missed this message. I know it starts with me.
Much love.
Preachaman
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